North East Post Adoption Service - Adoption Narratives - Jean
Rod: God, what would you like to know? First of all ……………….. she does look my mum, aye.
Jean: Do I?
Rod: Yes you do. Watch and I’ll show you these photographs av only dug three out tonight, em, there’s a lot round the family I’ll get them handed out
Jean: Right
Rod: and you can, emm, probably that one that’s me cousin Joan, that’s Grace,
Jean: Eeee gosh
Rod: There’s a better one, that was when we were married, this was 17 years ago, that’s Grace there me mum, that’s George, Alex’s husband
Jean: …..Aha
Rod: Eh, that’s my sister Win; that’s my brother George …..
Jean: Ahh right, I’ll get ma glasses so a can see them properly. You’ll have to excuse us am not normally like this
Rod: It’s all right (laughing). Thank god it doesn’t happen to everybody everyday!
Jean: Eeee yes aha a can, can see the resemblance
Rod: When you see our Win, you’ll see a similarity as well
Jean: With the dark, aha even though Wins got dark hair
Rod: That’s me mum, that’s me with me mum at 4 months with me mum
Jean: …..Eeeee
Rod: We’ve got some photographs of me Gran, and there’s one where there actually, there’s a pub in North Shields called the Colin Campbell, where they used to all drink for loads of years ago and most the family’s there me auntie Alice is there, me auntie Sarah, me Gran, me mum and . . .
Angie: Our auntie Alice
Rod: Our auntie Alice, sorry! (Laughing), so most, the three sisters are there, because, em, me Gran married twice
Jean: Right
Rod: Em ma gran, em, is an original Scottish Gypsy
Jean: Is she?
Rod: Yeah from Galashields, they used to do horse trading and all sorts
Jean: Eeeeee
Rod: Em, but apparently her first husband treated her so badly she escaped over the border
Jean: Right aha
Rod: And met ma Granda Young who she married and lived in Linden Road, which is not far from here actually
Jean: Aha Yeah
Rod: And that’s where they all
Jean: That’s what am sayin even though, it’s so near to us really, a mean a just haven’t got a clue, av only once been here before when NEPAS, and you know Steve and Andrea you know they started helping and we were coming over tonight and a just, a didn’t know where a was you know but
Rod: Right so what do you, is there any important questions?
Jean: Em, Just how everybody’s been for this after 48 years a mean, it’ll seem extreme for you, for somebody you know out of the blue, to come and sort of like decide
Rod: Ahh were cool, were chilled, were ok, our Winn is very emotional
Jean: Right aha em, a can’t believe the tears aren’t here, a mean, he’ll tell you av been, av been like woof av been upper height for, for weeks you know
Rod: Well probably say when you see our Winn, very much as yourself, and me mum, then you might
Jean: Very similar colour to me self and to me as well
Rod: Me mum was very light as well but a mean she changed her hair so much but
Jean: Aha, yeah our son Warren is my colour and our youngest one but the other two are like, Cheryl and Lee are darker
Rod: A remember your dad because I was young, and me mum met Billy
Jean: Aha
Rod: They weren’t married
Jean: No, no
Rod: For obvious reasons em, and we went to live with him in South Shields at Tyne Lane, number 27
Jean: Yes aha
Rod: A remember the little, a was talking to Andrea [adoption worker], a remember that part of my life, must have been there about two years
Jean: As long as that?
Rod: Cause I went to school there and I remember two of my friends, one was called Alec Jackson and one was called Alec Wrigley and one lived just across the path from me, you probably won’t even remember Tyne Lane do you?
Jean: Aha, well, em, it’s down now . . .
Rod: Oh yes, yes
Jean: . . .and
Rod: well there used to be terraced council houses with like archways between
Jean: aha yeah
Rod: we used to play in there as kids
Jean: aha yeah I do remember before they actually, a mean we didn’t used to go there but we used to pass and that
Rod: I can’t remember the circumstances over the adoption, a can only assume, like talking to Andrea [adoption worker], that my mum was to split up with Billy prior to having you and it must have been pressure from the family or whatever but the best thing in her circumstances was to have you adopted
Jean: yeah well a mean that’s one thing I’ve said right the way along, never, you know, a mean like my mam, my adopted mam em, a mean decided to tell us a few things not long before she died which was the first thing I had ever heard, always been brought up to know that I was adopted but nothing, but I think that would of come from me dad and me mam would of respected me dad as far as he was concerned a was theirs
Rod: well it could of left bad feeling in later years when you found out of your own accord
Jean: yes aha, em, but em that was you know, what I decided then I got some records from em, Durham which did, but it was William Peacock Anderson, that’s what threw
Rod: aahhhhh right, yeah
Jean: you see, we got the full, the full thing and a mean there was just no venture, they just disappeared cause a went and looked, done some research
Rod: right, and he had a son as well a remember Tommy
Jean: son and daughter
Rod: a can’t remember a daughter, a remember a son
Jean: the daughter was the oldest of the two
Rod: ahh right
Jean: aha she was the oldest of the two and along with the records a got this little letter em, an original one what Grace had written and em, now am getting emotional, sorry em, you could see very, like desperate em
Rod: ahh yeah, me mum was, in her younger days she was a bit of a, a flight
Jean: aha yeah
Rod: yeah she did have T.B at one stage which threatened her life
Jean: yeah that’s funny cause a was queried some years ago when a started working in the National Health. Apparently there was a little tiny bit of a scar of T.B and they asked if when a was young you know young baby or anything which we had no history you know but em, when I read everything and mean honestly no malice towards Grace, because in my eyes my parents, I had a really good up bringing
Rod: well I know I remember my mum as being not a good parent in the early years but I don’t want to hold it against her
Jean: no, no well that’s because you know some people think oh well why did they give you away and that but I was thinking of the circumstances especially in that era
Rod: she liked her freedom too much she wasn’t ready to settle
Jean: aha you know
Rod: my father thought the world of her em, and then he hadn’t long been ashore from a chief petty officer, he went to work as a bus conductor, she dumped him, you know it was as easy as that for her, another fella come into her life that sort of thing you know, too young, em, she was a very attractive lady her and my auntie Alice both them deadly, but me auntie Alice em, she married young but settled down with her fella, her fella was a right swine you know she had a hell of a life with him, me auntie Allis died fairly young she died about 41
Jean: eeeee that is young isn’t it
Rod: but she had a, she had a bad life
Angie: well Grace wasn’t old when she died was she?
Rod: 61 yeah, yeah
Jean: what did Grace die?
Rod: Heart attack
Jean: Heart attack
Rod: She was smoking, em, contrary a mean, it wasn’t TB or anything like that. That was cured em. Smoking basically, she had a weak heart and they took her in and they got her together, they let her out and within two weeks she was smoking 40 a day again
Jean: Oh right
Rod: And then they took her back in on a relapse and that was it. So
Jean: aha, yeah aha. What about Winn, were you and Win together as you grew up?
Rod: No em, let me think now. Winn, when me mum went into hospital for T.B Winn was taken by my auntie Sarah in London and me auntie Sarah and uncle Stan were childless
Jean: Right aha
Rod: And they took Winn from about 2 years old, now I can’t remember how much older I am from Winn, I’m about
Jean: 4, about 4
Rod: everyone knows but me!
Jean: Sorry
Rod: It’s alright! Honestly am hopeless! I really am! I just live it as it comes
Jean: I’ve scrutinised these, the records what I did get from Durham because in the letter they apologise because they thought it was very scanty, you know they didn’t think there was a lot there but I mean to a person who didn’t realise, you know just always thought, apart from like my family now and my father that’s like the only family av got and a mean to me it wasn’t it was just an enormous, you know having this, plus my original birth certificate as well because as Grace had registered us ye know em, and it was just you know I have very early stages of life but I was another person and it was very, very you know, huge, huge, it was huge for me
Rod: Yeah, it’s a lot to take on board here you know
Jean: Well av been researching for over 3 year now
Rod: What a shame, well like a said we got the letter from, well I didn’t get a letter, em, one went to George Cummings, my mums ex, and one went to my uncle Roland
Jean: Right
Rod: Em, but with it having Shakespeare Street, South Shields, I actually live in the Grande Shakespeare North Shields number 21
Jean: Oh right, aha that’s weird
Rod: No I can never remember being in Shakespeare in South Shields, Shakespeare Street, but certainly I lived with my Gran for years at Shakespeare, number 21 Shakespeare Street North Shields and I think that’s what blew everyone off their trot
Andrea: Yeah but it’s obviously been mistake
Rod: Yeah I think so with the registrar just
Jean: I mean is there, well there was a Shakespeare Street em, more near to Westoe in South Shields but all that’s left of that now is gable ends because behind it is new
Rod: Seems like the registrar has took it for granted that it’s been South Shields and it’s just been an error on that score, had you had North Shields you would, much more quickly
Jean: Aha yeah
Rod: My Gran, our Gran was a fabulous old lady. She died when she was 81. Em, I love, am into animals, that’s my thing, done everything zoo’s, Heathrow apart from the Gran, from being 8 year old a mean av lived with my Gran nearly the best part of my life till she died when I was 13 em, and it was a culture shock living with me mum, but by then she’d pulled herself together she had. She had problems but she met George Cummings, em, and he was a settling influence on her, me mum always wanted somebody with money to look after her that was her important thing. She always wanted to make a family but she couldn’t settle herself with a fella, she didn’t love them, em, she loved one, our Georges father, George Shotton, she loved him very much, but he was a capital bastard, he was, excuse my language
Jean: Right aha
Rod: He really was she had a rough life with him em, and eventually he was put in prison em, for trivial stuff. The big thing then was knocking gas metres off
Jean: Ahhh right, yeah, yeah aha
Rod: You know the great spate of it going on them and he got caught and took the wrap for them all that was doing it and he went off to prison, she decided there and then it was time to change, and just across the road happened to lived this young bachelor, Geordie Cummings who had a bit of money cause he went to sea so she latched onto him. She liked him, you know she liked him, it was a different side of life to what she’d seen. His mother was dead set against it, yeah his mother was no fool. Ahh, anyway, they got married and he gave her a good life. We used to live in Norfolk Street in North Shields em, that’s renovated now we had an old house there and it was compulsively purchased, we got nothing for it I remember and we were moved to Briarwood Avenue. Now that doesn’t mean anything to you
Jean: No
Rod: ..but in its hayday, that was the roughest, hardest area in North Shields and by god I was terrified when I moved there. I wouldn’t move school it was Ralph Gardener School which is a local there and a was at Linskill by Tynemouth, and I wouldn’t move school I trailed 3 miles to school everyday but I had to wear a tie so I was the brunt of every problem going up and down that road
Jean: That road aha
Rod: Anyway after a year or so em, they were really genuine people not a lot of money, but they were genuine and em, we got out as quick as we could (laugh). They opened up Kings Court in North Shields which is a dive now, but then it was the ultimate council properties to have and me mum and George got the second flat going there, a maisonette and we moved out and she had a dame good life there, she was working he was working and it went very well
Jean: Well good am pleased about that
Rod: In later years she moved house Stamfordham Avenue she lived which, when she first moved there it was a lovely little street and she loved it didn’t she?
Angie: Oh yeah
Rod: But she was a great character, she was
Jean: Yeah a could imagine
Rod: Am not pulling a wool or anything she was genuinely a great lady
Jean: No, no aha
Rod: She loved life, even at 60 she was going to parties man! We’ve got a picture and a photograph of her in the house and her friend Ester used to come up for her and she’s got the full length dressed gloves on and that you know there ready to go, amazing. So she was a great lady
Jean: aha yeah
Rod: but you know she was like a bad girl, such is life.
Jean: Well you know when were young
Angie: It’s easy to criticise her but at that time, round about the 1940’s – 50’s life was very different and women particularly didn’t have the choices and the freedom that they have now
Jean: that’s exactly what I said, you know and a think that’s what
Rod: it was very much pressure, it wasn’t the fact that she didn’t want em, children, you know nearer the time. Going through the family there’s myself, Win now are you older than Winn?
Jean: no Wins, I’m 48
Rod: Winn must be 50ish right
Jean: Yeah Winns 50ish
Rod: So there’s myself, Winn, yourself now, our Colin. Now our Colin was illegitimate
Jean: Right
Rod: Em, and he wasn’t legally, this is off the cuff as it were (laughing), our Colin. In our family, and am sure a lot of the early families, there was a lot of family taking on babies that couldn’t be raised by their actual mothers
Jean: Yes aha
Rod: our Colin was one he went to a friend em, cause me mum just couldn’t look after him and my auntie Ethel, you know she wasn’t an aunt, and uncle Darby, were great friends for years, a used to visit them and everything to see our Colin. So Colin he’s a bit of a black sheep unfortunately em, he’s a fisherman and his life, he’s just wasted his life on drink,
Jean: has he aha
Rod: he really has I, eh, he’s a big lad
Jean: how old would Colin be? Eh
Rod: How olds our George? Wins 50, you’re 48 em, Colin’s older than George, and George is about 38 isn’t he 36 Colin will be about 42, 43
Jean: aha yeah aha
Rod: em, then there’s our George, who was to George Shotton, the feller she left cause he went to prison em. Our George is a good lad, he’s got a good family em, he’s a big lad, em, but he’s very talented actually we were telling Andrea [adoption worker] about him he’s very talented
Jean: right yeah aha
Rod: and he just lives close by as well
Jean: does he?
Rod: Aha. But what I’ll do is, a mean after you’ve decided tonight how far you want to go
Jean: Aha
Rod: I’ll approach the other members of the family, our Winn will certainly want to meet you
Jean: Aha
Rod: Em, and then we’ll just take it from there how far you want to go
Jean: A can’t conceive in me self you know about how, the size, you know the different people because a mean Norman’s got a big family, haven’t you, you know brothers and sisters and right from being little if a could get amongst a big family I was in me element
Rod: Well a think it was good for kids
Jean: Because a was the only one, a mean me parents had a good outlook em, for me you know everything like that, and a remember even when, a mean, because they owned like a Newsagent business and me dad was a barber so the two shops conveyed together
Rod: Ah right
Jean: Together and em, like old buildings then, em, Fredrick Street in Jarrow was full of big families
Rod: Yeah
Jean: and I used to love to be amongst it
Rod: All the same in the
Jean: In the back lane you know, used to love to be amongst it, always er
Rod: Yeah
Jean: Always did, and like now we’ve got three and we’ve got two grandchildren Kane and Keisha, that’s like were daughter Cheryl’s eh two children, and am very family orientated am very, if it anything to do, it’s because I haven’t as such, on my side, cause there’s only like me father he has cousins and that, but as years have went along
Rod: You’ve drifted apart
Jean: Drifted apart you know
Rod: Cause you do yeah
Jean: This happens in every families
Rod: A was close to my auntie Alice’s em, children em, they are very nice, Brenda she’s the oldest, she’s a very nice lady. Now she got on well with me mum she knows a lot about me mum so you along, maybe to see Brenda, but again it depends on yourself how far you want to go and then I’ll approach her
Jean: Aha yeah
Rod: A lot of them don’t know you exist
Jean: Aha well a could imagine that, a didn’t know a existed! If you can understand what I mean
Rod: A mean I knew but I was the only one in the family that new that
Jean: A was registered as a Dorothy Phillips, Grace used em, your dads eh, you no your dads name and I was em, Dorothy? Looking at this and am
Rod: Change that!
Jean: Dot, Dotty! Which you know some people in the family said Dotty would know better
Rod: Well our Winn had a little girl em, when her first marriage split up and she had her adopted and she’s gone through the same thing the girls traced our Winn and they’ve gettin on together, they write to each other and they phone each other cause she lives quite a bit away
Angie: Catherine’s been up a few times
Rod: So Wins very open to all that that’s not a problem
Jean: Because this is what I was saying to Andrea a says a, you know the one thing a wanted to get over was that I didn’t want to interfere in anybody’s live’s
Rod: Ah there’s no danger of that
Jean: Because a think you know the thing a person popping up after 48 years is you know
Rod: Do you not remember the family well!
Angie: You can’t be responsible for your parent’s actions
Jean: Because it’s a long time but like I say in all honesty I didn’t know anything. And a mean
