North East Post Adoption Service - Adoption Narratives - Amy
Because
I'd previously well I got my file and I got the old addresses and silly went
and knocked on one of the doors in Scarborough but they weren't there any
more but the woman next door knew where they lived so I got her mum's address
and went to see her and she was a bit shocked to say the least and she'd phoned
Sheila up a couple of days later and told her and given her my phone number
and had phoned me and she'd phoned she'd told Sheila I was also looking for
Terry so Sheila phoned Francis which is Terry's sister and she got in touch
with Terry pause So you actually announced yourself to your grandmother? Um
Right Was that not a bit harrowing? Yeah pause Would you like to expand that
a bit further? Yeah pause I woke up one morning and I turned to my partner
Colin and I said it was about a week after I'd seen my file and I said I want
to go to Scarborough today pause he said what you mean you want to go to Scarborough
laughs I want to go to Scarborough said right and I didn't tell him I was
going to knock on the door as he wouldn't have taken me I said I want to see
the houses so we went down her road and saw the house and then we went round
to where he used to live as well and we went back to her old house and I said
right well I'm going to knock on the door pause and I was shaking and I was
nervous and I felt sick and I could hardly talk when the door was opened but
once I'd knocked on her door it was alright knocking on the next door neighbour
and we think she may have known about me because Sheila was sent way when
they found out she was pregnant she was sent away so the neighbours and family
didn't find out but I went to the woman next door and she didn't ask who I
was or anything she just gave me the addresses Right So I think she might
have known who I was pause but when I knocked on the door of Jane's that's
Sheila's mother and she answered the door and I just got the oh well I suppose
you better come in then pause So what was it like what happened when you went
through the door? Erm as soon as I got through the door cause Colin stayed
in the car with James I got well its not Sheila's fault she had to do what
she had to do and I was like well I'm not blaming her I'm just here from curiosity
to find out 'well it's a good job my husband isn't here he'd have slammed
the door in your face it just went from bad to worse Right Erm but she'd said
she'd get in touch with Sheila and she'd get in touch with Terry for me and
I just cried all the way home to Newcastle I was going to go and knock on
his old house as well but I couldn't I just cried all the way home Did you
think that was because it was a shock to her No because That reaction Sheila
told me that the reaction they got she got when they found out she was pregnant
with me she was 6 months gone and they still tried to get me aborted but then
she was married to her husband and pause Ritchie's 7 years younger than me
so Sheila would have been 23 24 and they had exactly the same reaction then
pause so I think its just them pause laughs So what made you because then
you spoke to Sheila on the phone and did she invite you down to Wales/ Yeah
and I went and I stayed there and everything was fine and I went down the
next weekend after that and I took Colin with me and I don't know what it
was but she immediately took against Colin she wouldn't even speak to him
she wouldn't be civil to him it was just horrible we were meant to be staying
Friday through till Sunday and we ended up going to Leeds to stay at my mums
on the Saturday morning so So you arrived late on Friday afternoon It was
yeah it was Friday about lunchtime we got there before the kids got in from
school and then just by Friday night Colin had had enough I'd had enough James
was being tetchy so we just got up and made our excuses and left and that
was the last time I saw her Right so what was she like apart from her attitude
towards Colin? What was she like with you then? She was all right with me
Uh huh But I'm very much like Terry pause and her parents have had 20 years
of drilling into her that he's not a very nice man and of course I turn up
and I'm exactly like him Right but of course you don't know this at the time
No all I knew was that I look like him and that was from what Sheila had told
me and then after that it kind of put me off seeing him pause cause that was
in.
