North East Post Adoption Service - Adoption Narratives - Amy
James
would have been 6 weeks old so that'll been in May and then I did speak to
Terry and we wrote letters and then it was August 9th when I went and met
him so it was good few months after that I decided that I did want to meet
him and it was just totally different pause it was like we'd never been separated
it was like we'd never not known each other cause we are so similar with facial
expressions mannerisms the way we speak the way we act its just strange I
say its surprising what's nature and what's nurture Uh huh and you didn't
have that with Sheila No Any similarities when you first saw her I didn't
even recognise her and she didn't recognise me it was her husband that saw
me and knew it was me pause Right was she curious about your lifestyle and
vice versa No she wasn't bothered about me at all Right It was strange though
cause that first time when I went to see her erm I got there at 11 half past
11 so that I could speak to her before the kids go in from school and we walked
up to pick the twins up from school and she was pushing James in the buggy
and people were stopping and talking to her and saying whose this and she
was like this is my daughter Amy I had her adopted 21 years ago and this is
my grandson James pause and it was like I was accepted and then the next time
pause it was like I was just a person a stranger that had come to stay at
the house I just got mixed reactions I do wonder if her parents had anything
to do with it pause so So how soon was it you received a letter so how soon
you know how quickly after that moment did you receive the letter 3rd April
I got it 3 weeks ago right so it was fairly recently um its taken her 10 months
to send it and you've had no correspondence yep we've written and phoned right
but nothing major so do feel you instigated that more than she did yeah I
was the one who phoned or I was the one that wrote right right I mean the
letter it came out of the blue but I suppose I was expecting it in a way it
was just upsetting at the time Right would you like to read the letter out
Yeah rustling of papers pause it says dear Amy I don't think it would achieve
anything for us to keep in contact as you pointed out when we met your adoptive
parents are your family and I just happen to be the person who gave birth
to you I agree with that statement completely but you cant then turn round
and call Grham's and my kids your brothers and sisters even if technically
they are I got the impression you only got in touch to satisfy your own natural
curiosity so I think its far best if we leave it now I'm glad you get on well
with your other family I hope you understand that I've got my own family to
consider Sheila rustling of papers pause and that's it I was at Terry's when
she sent it and erm I picked it up and I knew from the post it said Bristol
England and I knew then what it was before I even opened Right It So she sent
it to Terry's address Well I'd already sent her a change of address cause
that's where I'm living at the moment so she must have twigged it was them
I was staying with Right Or either that or living very near them Right pause
I mean I get on with Terry's family so well it's a bit annoying living in
a house with 4 teenagers but laughs you just get on with it don't you yeah
I mean Michelle's 16 and she's my half sister and she's the eldest one and
er she's very much like her mother I'm told I've never met her mother she
doesn't want anything to do with me she won't meet me pause cause I'm part
of Terry's previous life pause so it doesn't bother me she wants nothing to
do with me but apparently Michelle's very much like her er where as Hannah
Hannah's a younger version of me and Terry when I was her age I was doing
exactly the same I acted the same I talked the same I had the same frame of
mind everything pause So you don't feel like there's any resentment there
No You don't think Michelle's any worse or I mean both of them are very happy
once they've got over the shock of finding out they had a sister cause of
course non of them had ever been told about me Steve didn't see the point
of telling them about me if I never got in touch pause Right Because they
could never have found me pause so I got in touch and erm they found out and
How did they find out? Terry told them
