North East Post Adoption Service - Adoption Narratives - Bob
Yeah
it's a difficult thing and I think it does effect you I think more that people
realise pause erm I think maybe certain things your affected by I think are
due to the adoption and the whole thing and erm that you might put down to
something else you know so yeah pause but looking back erm it was a thing
I had to do pause you know it's a bit like when looking out to sea here today
and all those salmon come off greenland and go off up the Tyne to where they
were born and I think it's the same thing I think you've got to trace back
to your roots eh so I had to do it erm pause er and like I say it hasn't worked
out badly but it hasn't worked out fantastically which I really don't think
you can ask for anything more can you So are you going to be searching for
you father or is that just not Well that's the trouble with that is Or do
you want to Eh yeah pause I do actually maybes not for the right reasons but
I do but the trouble is there is too many loose ends I think it would be very
difficult pause just going on a name Right And area he was from pause you
know its so difficult erm pause but it possibly could be done pause but like
I say I don't know if its worth it certainly not at this moment in time pause
is probably a fair answer laughs to your question but um it's a difficult
thing to talk about I think because even when I talk about it I don't think
its myself I think its as if its somebody else is having this interview and
talking you know pause that's the best way to put it pause erm pause its like
a side of you that's pause eh will always be there but you don't always acknowledge
pause coughs I think is a reasonable way of putting it eh unless you have
to pause thought I have met other people who have been adopted pause and have
met a lot I have met a couple and its interesting actually you do feel a sort
of bond get a bond with them Right Um and you can tell what stage they're
going trough as well you know I have met people erm partly to do with helping
them do the same thing pause and you can feel what sort of stage they're at
erm and then I've also met people who've helped me pause and they understand
I think sometimes as soon as I mention talking about things so pause you know
so I often wonder how it would have turned out it I'd stayed there originally
with my mother had kept me my natural mother pause erm and you always wonder
that you know erm pause but I'll never know So presumably she went on and
got married No no she didn't no she erm surprisingly she pause I think the
community where they lived was like a small community and the families used
to stick together and bind together because it was a big family with lots
of brothers and sisters and eh shenever got married erm pause she obviously
had her other son to bring up pause erm pause and pause you know I don't know
whether that was to do with myself to a large degree or what I don't know
erm pause maybe I'll find out in the future pause Yeah so yeah I have been
thinking the last few days about writing a letter which I will do it takes
me a while to get round to it pause but like I say I tend to make excuses
very ??? and all that I sort of have been upside down the last few months
moving in here for a little while so pause um pause we'll just have to see
how it turns out so that's the story so far more or less Right thank you
